Crazy Ass Toys: Razor Pockets

Razor Pocket Rocket Vs. Razor Pocket Mod Sweetpea

Really….Really?

Crazy Ass Toys: Wii Baby and Me

Wii Baby and Me.

I’m gonna say it: There’s just all sorts of wrong with this toy.

Don’t even get me started on the pink packaging and charming little girl happily holding her baby on the front. Especially considering the fact that I caught Big J and Middle L playing tug of war with a Premie Cabbage Patch Kid doll the other day.

But seriously…I call this one: Epic Fail. Nintendo can certainly come up with better ways of getting little girls to play video games/ the Wii. Oh…that’s right, the only types of video games that girls are interested in are ones that you can plug into a doll. Creepy.

Interestingly enough, it’s only going to be sold in Australia though.

Evil Toys: Because Girls Love To Clean

My Cleaning Trolly by Girls Only

Oh-no-they-didn’t.

At least the Toys R Us version are in gender neutral colors?? But of course they do add only the girl in the picture to depict all the fun. My good friend Stephanie over at her awesome blog The (not so) little things had a great story about an elementary school class in Sweden who is complaining that Toys R Us are promoting “outdated gender roles” in their toy catalogs. (Sigh…I heart Sweden). Well, add this picture to that list!!

photos from jezebel.com and toysrus.com

Crazy Ass Toys: Gonorrhea is My New Best Friend

I’m not sure whether to stare at these things in disbelief or high-five the manufacturers for bringing attention to STDs for the kiddos. However, there is a certain level of ick-factor at the thought of my kids going to bed at night snuggling with Syphilis pictured in Princess Pink. Imagine your little one explaining to his/her friends that her new best friend is Gonorrhea.

And yes, these toys do exist. Check out more of their furry little bacterial kin over at Giant Microbes.

Evil Toys: You Can Shave the Baby

You Can Shave The Baby

It just doesn’t get any better than this. I’m not sure if I can truly list this with “Evil Toys” but rather “Just Plain Wrong Toys”. Exactly what Middle L is gonna want for Christmas.

I wonder if these are going to be added as models for Beauty School?

Shaver Not Included.

Back hair is one thing…but calf and cankle hair??

Onward Christian Princesses!

I know, one of Mama’s things to not talk about includes Religion but I couldn’t help but post the latest “interesting” toy I’ve come across.

According to the promo, Godz Girls is a doll that girls “can feel good about”. The shown Sarah, which in biblical speak means Princess, is sold as a true princess because her “Father is the King of Kings!”

Well, who can argue against that??

I am no biblical scholar but my Bablic (Baptist/Catholic) parents did make it a point to rid me of my Original Sin during Baptism and I was a child bride for my First Communion and Confirmation so I’ve had my share of Sunday School. But I don’t recall being taught anything saintly about princesses.

Marketing at its finest indeed.

I will admit that compared to Bratz dolls, the other Gods Girlz are pretty bland so I truly cannot poo pooh the entire doll collection. Yet multi-cultural in the larger sense, they are not. There is only one African-American God’s Girlz while the rest are white. And of course they are all uber Barbie thin. With such little representation of other ethnicities to this brand I can’t help but question the message Gods Girlz is sending on who the “chosen” ones are.

Evil Toys: Pole Dancing Doll

Add this to my list of Evil Toys!
Gizmodo recently showcased the latest and greatest in kiddie entertainment: a poll dancing doll simply named, “Pole Dancer”. If this doll is for real, then she makes the Bratz line seem angelic.

Reports from all over the Internet question the validity of whether such a doll exists but I have to admit that the picture looks pretty convincing.

If it is then this just gives me more of a reason to move to the mountains of Montana and raise my kids on the fruits of the land.

Now, if they come out with Chippendale Charlie for the boys as a side kick to Pole Dancer then that’s another story. Yes boys, you can be pole dancers too!

photo copied from Gizomodo.com

My List of Evil Toys

I read with great amusement today Lisa Belkin’s blog post on Motherlode about toddlers and texting. The discussion was in reaction to a NYTs article titled: “Their Old Enough to Text. Now What?” which describes the latest cell phone gadgetry for our little ones.

I’m all for technology. I even work in the IT Industry. But I have to poo poo Leap Frog’s Text and Learn toy and add that to my “List of Evil Toys”. Disclaimer: I’m really not a “holier than thou” person but in an age where technology is driving a wedge between parents and children I just have to draw the line somewhere.

It’s worse enough that I have family members that talk to me in emoticons and acronyms (I use them too when I text but I don’t necessarily shout, “LOL!” when actually talking!) so now we have toys that promote our worse habits?

Here are a few of my other “evil toys”.

Leap Frog’s Tag Reader

Another tool to promote parental dis-involvement. Hey, I’ve got three kids and need a break too but if they want to know how to read a book the least I can do is sit down with them and read it to them! I don’t need to pay $39.99 for the Tag Reader plus an additional $14 for each Tag Reader Book! The last time I checked the library had a bunch of free books to read.

Smart Cycle by Fisher Price

Now there’s just all sorts of wrong with toy. I don’t think I need to go into elaborate detail as to why I think so..